Sunday, November 2, 2008

In a nutshell

As we start the month of adoption education (let's be honest, adoption overload), I wanted to give you our adoption journey in a nutshell. Just so that you know where I am coming from and so that some of the coming posts will make more sense.


Got married

1998 to 2001

infertility treatments


Started the adoption process & were approved


Were chosen by The Boy's birth mother & The Boy was born five months later (agency adoption)

Got a phone call from The Girl's birth mother and The Girl was born two weeks later (designated adoption)


Started the adoption process once again. Hoping to adopt a third. (our adoption blog)

So, here we are today. Still hoping to add to our family and so grateful for the two children who have joined our family through adoption. Both of their adoptions are open adoption although to different extents. Every adoption situation is different and every adoption has its own level of openness. Here are the different levels you may hear about.

Closed Adoption - No contact after placement.
Semi-Open Adoption - Letters and pictures after placement.
Open Adoption - Letters, pictures, visits.

You can read more about the different levels of openness and pros/cons of all them here.

In my opinion there isn't one level of openness that is better than another. I think that in every adoption situation, the birth family and adoptive family have to talk about what works best for them and what they want as every situation is different. Communication is the key. I know for us, our level of openness in both of our adoptions has changed over time and it is only because of a mutual respect and open, honest communication that it can be what it is. We are blessed to have the contact with our children's birth families that we do. We love them all so much and wouldn't have it any other way.